Webzine Sound Bites
By Jason Gardner

Quick draws with 5 bands by Jason Gardner

While winter packs up, break out your iPod and open up your iTunes. These five bands, if they don’t deserve a download, they at least deserve a listen or two. And hey, maybe even some play this Spring. These are all exclusive out takes from Wonka Vision Magazine #44; The Blue-Collar Rock Issue.

Label: Bit Riot Records (www.bitriotrecords.com)

Our first touring vehicle: It was this Dodge Caravan we got from a shady rental company that would rent to people under 21. It was a total clunker. We put something like 8,000 miles on it in two weeks, and by the end of the tour, I think every type of bodily fluid had been expelled in the confines of that beast.

Hardest part of being on the road: When we’re on the road, its 18-hour days, driving, loading in, sound checks, tearing down… and it’s only when we’re on a stage or at an after party that it doesn’t feel like work. Those couple of hours a day make smelling like a bum’s ass and sleeping on a van floor worth it.

Where we like to play: DC takes tops. The best fans, the best promoters and whenever we play a room there it’s full of the best humans on the East Coast.

Actual MySpace comment: “Our role models are machines.”

What we do on the road: Making manic playlists. It’s not a fully rounded day if I haven’t heard some death metal, some Rihanna and the Terminator theme.

MY WILD HEAVEN

Label: Unsigned

What we eat: Subway. We’ll rifle through convenience store dumpsters before dining at McDeath’s, Denny’s or Waffle House for that matter.

Our first touring vehicle: 1973 GMC C-10 van bought for $350. A former painter’s truck that was hideously outfitted with poorly executed red-and-white sections of brushed on paint.

Where we like to play: The Green Room in Tampa, Fla. while it was still open.

What we do on the road: Compiling lists of deities to offer prayers of continued forward momentum to when the van is running out of gas in the abandoned wastelands of America.

Funniest bumper sticker we’ve seen on the road: “Welcome to Florida - Arrive Wasted.”

FAKE PROBLEMS
Photo By Aaron Weber

Label: Side One Dummy Records (www.sideonedummy.com)

What we eat: My favorite source of food on the road is McDonald’s Monopoly Month. I talk the entire band into eating McDonald’s three to four times a day to collect pieces for upwards of weeks. We max out the board but are one property short of every set. During the last week, the group revolts, there’s usually an uprising and Casey Lee ends up vegetarian for a few weeks to a few months.

What we’re looking to do this year: Fake Problems touring with Blink-182 when they reunite.

Our first tour vehicle: We started touring in a Ford Sport-Trac pickup truck named The Snake Pit. It hardly seated four, yet we toured for a long time with five guys crammed into it.

Actual MySpace comment: “Your uncle Frank introduced me to your music, I like it. Good stuff!”

Where we like to play: Birmingham, Ala. at Cave 9. I’ve got to represent southern DIY and the southeast scene. The people make this place. Mainly Will Butler.

H.R.

Label: DC Hardcore

What you shouldn't eat: Octopus. We were in Japan at this restaurant and this dude told me to try it and I did. Yuck.

My first touring vehicle: A rent-a-van that had “miserable and the worms” written on it.

Favorite place to play: New York City I love the enthusiasm of the students, they give an A+ response every time. They just want to worship me and love me.

Actual MySpace comment: "Bless the world."

Bumper sticker I've actually seen on the road: "Honk if you're horny!"

THE RIOT BEFORE

Label: Say-10 (www.say-10.com)

What we eat: Burritos. We are huge fans. The more authentic, the better. Some favorites are the Burrito Bus in Tampa and Super Taco in Clemson, S.C.

Our first touring vehicle: We got our van from a shifty dealer. It didn’t come with a spare and he said the AC worked, but it only did for about a week and then stopped. We are about to retire it and it’s sad, but she’s old, weak and needs to die.

What we do on the road: Freddy likes to play “Would You Rather?” Sometimes we play other dumb games and try to come up with the most ridiculous scenarios possible. Like, what if the van was made out of chocolate?

Actual MySpace comment: “When you see America’s wang (Florida) circumcise it with Richmond.” - White Lightning.

Funniest/Worst bumper sticker seen on the road: We once saw a billboard that said, “Bacon, the candy bar of meat.” We can all agree with that.